Myth #1: You can still enjoy your old hobbies, just like you did before you got married. False—for some of your hobbies, it will never be the same. Let’s give some examples with this one. (1) I like to record some movies that...are the types of movies you only watch with your most trusted female friends because they are cheesy and embarrassing. Despite my belief that these films could remain on the DVR undetected, Scott always finds out and always gives me a
hard time. Is it a crime to like The Devil Wears Prada???? (2) Scott likes to read and watch and hear and smell football-related material. So, sometimes he’ll come home from work and try to check out some of these football websites of his, and…as hard as I try, I can only hold out watching him do this for so long before persuading him to snuggle me instead. He may not see it, but I’m just saving him from boring news about LaVell’s latest paint swatches. [Football: 0, Me: +10]
Myth #2: Husbands are always waiting on their wives to get ready. False. Well, sort of false. I take a lot longer to get ready in the mornings because of absorbent hair and a dire need for mascara; but when it comes to getting ready for bed, Scott takes ten times longer. I guess he just has better hygiene than I do because it takes me a whole two minutes to wash my face and brush my teeth, but Scott has this 20-minute flossing and contact removal ritual that is non-negotiable. Not to mention, he needs to “Crack the Code” on his ipod every night before bed. Also non-negotiable.
Myth #3: Everything your spouse does will make sense to you. False. This is the topic of much conversation at our house, specifically because I am the most jumpy person in the world; and Scott just doesn’t get it. There are so many examples to share, but here are a few: (1) I called down the stairs asking Scott if he’d help me carry our cookies and milk to the basement. He came running up really fast and it alarmed me so much that I just about dropped everything, even though he was just doing what I had asked him to do seconds earlier. (2) If Scott sneezes in the other room while I’m in the shower, I typically cower or fall down in fright. Under these kinds of terrorizing circumstances, I think outward panic is the best way to respond. Scott doesn’t quite understand that I suppose.
There you are—some marriage doctrine from one who has only been married for a month. Take it as you will.
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